So, you’ve got your fixie, you’re all hip and cool, people make fun of you for riding the latest trendy bike but you don’t care because you actually really enjoy riding. You had no idea that you were gonna love cycling this much, in fact you ride everywhere now and you start to wonder how many miles you ride in a week so you start looking into cycle computers. You notice that they are all boring and ‘electronicky’ but soon you come across the Knog N.E.R.D.

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computer

The N.E.R.D comes in both 9 and 12 function models with the following features (bold ones are only on the 12 function model):

Multi-bike selection (accumulated data for 2 different bikes can be stored)
– Distance Per Day
– Display Backlight
– Current Speed
– 12 / 24 hour clock
– Trip Distance
– Average Speed
– Maximum Speed
– Relative Speed (output as a bar graph of current vs average speed)
– Total Riding Time
– Odometer
– Scanning (will display all functions in a looped sequence)

Since getting this computer riding any kind of distance is much more fun, it’s great to see exactly how far you’ve gone and watch your average speed drop as the hours go by and you become weak, pathetic and far less attractive to the opposite sex. It’s so easy to use, there are no buttons as such, the entire screen acts as a button so each press of it moves on to the next display making it really easy to change to what you want to see as you are riding.

Both N.E.R.D’s are wireless, the transmitter and the receiver are extremely light and housed in 100% waterproof medical grade silicone. There’s no fucking about putting these things on your bike, you just wrap the thing around it and hook it on, I’ve never experienced any movement when riding, some people claim they have but they must be a bit slow in the head and managed to attach them wrong (they must be REALLY thick).

The transmitter and the receiver are not really that small but does that matter? A cycle computer is not meant to be a fashion accessory (although this is as close as they get), it’s there to show that you are a total saddo who is probably wearing cycle shorts under your jeans (yes you!) because as much as you want your performance to improve there is no way you are flashing your junk in public (but you know that chicks are thinking about your rock hard thighs). The N.E.R.D is like a cool looking pair of thick rimmed glasses worn by a hot graphic designer rather than a pair of National Health specs on the face of a lycra-clad, overweight roadie wannabe. What I’m trying to say is that it’s not small but it’s good looking.

This review is not going as smoothly as I would have liked, I’m talking more crap than sense. The receiver which is also the display can be removed from the silicone housing and rotated so you can mount it on your frame/stem or your bars, something not possible with a lot of other computers due to the mounting hardware, I prefer mine on the stem so that I have all the bars for my hands. The silicone housing also makes it really easy and painless to remove them when you wanna go into Costa to buy a vanilla bullshit thing.

Both parts take a single little round battery each which are super easy to replace (see pix), Knog reckons they should last 1-2 years of normal use which is great either way. You’ll see that I’ve used mine a fair amount, the spoke magnet has a bit of surface rust on it which is no big deal. I thought the white one would have got really dirty really fast but that’s not the case at all. I can see this lasting me for years. Actually this was attached to my bike when I got hit by a car last year, I broke my collarbone and a rib, tore a huge whole in my thigh muscle and smashed the car window into a million pieces but the computer didn’t budge and still works perfectly. If that isn’t a good reason to get one then I don’t know what is.

Have I covered everything? Are you sold on these things yet? If you want a computer that functions flawlessly, looks good and is made by a truly creative, innovative brand that deserves to be supported then buy a N.E.R.D. If you wanna be a cheapskate then buy a crappy one from Tesco but end up getting one of these anyway in a couple of months, the choice is yours.

Buy the Knog N.E..R.D cycle computer from Wiggle.

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe large display is easy to read

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe one piece design makes mounting easy

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe unit can be removed from the silicone and rotated to go where you want it to

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe transmitter can be attached to thin or wide forks

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe spoke magnet is easily attached or removed with a coin

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerReceiver, spoke magnet and transmitter

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerReceiver and transmitter removed from their silicone housing

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe rear of the receiver (note the button at the bottom)

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe Transmitter takes a single LR44 battery

knog n.e.r.d wireless cycle computerThe receiver takes a single CR2023 battery

Have you got a N.E.R.D? What do you think of them? Hit up the comments with your own little reviews and questions.