Just because I’m a weirdo that girls won’t touch with somebody else’s ten foot pole doesn’t mean that I can’t join in on some Valentine’s Day fun. I will be spending the day bitter and frowning at all the repulsive PDA’s on the street and on Facebook, which I know doesn’t really sound like fun but it’s better than crying into my pillow at home.

Here’s a whole bunch of cutesy vintage Valentine’s Day cards that feature characters on bikes and genius plays on words, enjoy.

1. Looks like she’s loving that!

vintage valentine’s day card bike (12)

2. She reminds me of Becky

vintage valentine’s day card bike (18)

3. The cycling cap always looks dashing!

vintage valentine’s day card bike (17)

4. Comes across as a bit desperate to me

vintage valentine’s day card bike (16)

5. She can toot my horn any day

vintage valentine’s day card bike (15)

6. He doesn’t ride on the first date, what a gentleman

vintage valentine’s day card bike (14)

7. Looks like he’s trying to scare her into his arms!

vintage valentine’s day card bike (13)

8. I’m a swell boy, and my hair goes like that, still single

vintage valentine’s day card bike (11)

9. Boy-cycle, I see what they did there

vintage valentine’s day card bike (10)

10. Another case of terrifying a lady into submission

vintage valentine’s day card bike (9)

11. Well, he’s just a dreamboat

vintage valentine’s day card bike (8)

12. She’d ride your heart into the ground, mate

vintage valentine’s day card bike (7)

13. Is sweet loving between a cat and a dog still bestiality?

vintage valentine’s day card bike (6)

14. Straight to the point, he sounds great

vintage valentine’s day card bike (5)

15. I wouldn’t trust this guy as far as I could throw him!

vintage valentine’s day card bike (4)

16. Riding no hands is a classic pulling technique!

vintage valentine’s day card bike (3)

17. Oh dear, he seems like a bit of a drip

vintage valentine’s day card bike (2)

18. She’s just delightful, definite girlfriend material

vintage valentine’s day card bike (1)

Yeah, yeah, I know there are 18 and not 14 but nothing is going to get in the way of a good title.

SHARE THIS POST WITH YOUR LOVED ONES, SHOW THEM YOU CARE BEFORE THEY UP AND LEAVE AND YOU GROW OLD AND BITTER LIKE ME (LADIES, FORM AN ORDERLY QUEUE).